Loosing 3 kilos in 6 days just by recording Prokofiev
When I arrived last night at home in Berlin after having been gone for the week, my roommate looked at me and claimed that I had lost weight. This morning after sleeping like a child for almost 9 hours I verified her claim: 3 kilos (6,6 US pounds) in 6 days – and that without sports or dieting, just pure and utter stress. What had happened?
Well, the last week I had spent in beautiful Bergen, Norway, in order to record for Hyperion two big concertos by Prokofiev, his op.58 “Concerto” and the more famous “Sinfonia Concertante”, both considered among the toughest pieces for cello; technically and physically that might be true. As usually I was very well taken care of by my favorite producer-team of all times, Andrew Keener and Simon Eadon, and the Bergen Philharmonic under their “chief” Andrew Litton was in splendid shape, but he schedule was grueling.We had so-called “Rehearse/Record” sessions, which means not an isolated day of rehearsals for these two 40 minute pieces of which the op.58 is practically unkown (I had never heard nor played it before) but we rehearsed a movement and then jumped into recording it. What I found especially brutal was the fact that the sessions happened each day from 10 am until 3 pm with two, three breaks in which Andrew Litton and me just listened to what we had recorded. After the session I went back to my dressing room to practise another two, three hours the next day’s movements.
In London at the Proms
While my little family is still sleeping in the hotelroom here in London I am taking the opportunity to do a bit of writing before the gap to my last entry is too long and I broke my promise to write at least twice a month. Normally they are never travelling with me, but since the Royal Albert Hall is one of the most amazing places to play at in the world (and one of the most scary as well – soooo big, and without amplification we feel like little dwarfs in front of far too many people) I thought it would be nice for them to see their father/husband sweat. And sweating they’ve got plenty of to see….After returning from New Zealand I really had it for a while, couldn’t stand touching the cello for a while, so I decided instead of practising and learning the Prokofiev Concerto (recording in 11 days, arghh!) I took a break of more than a weak and spend some quality time with my family who returned shortly after me from their holidays in Puerto Rico (lucky them!).
"Go home and take a shower!"
1988/89 I spent studying in Cincinnati, OH. My cello teacher turned out to be rather lame, so I focused a bit on playing quartet and taking lessons with the quartets in residence there, the LaSalle- and the Tokyo-Quartet. I had the time of my life, living together with two German guys in a one-bedroom flat, getting up every morning at 6 am to the sounds of either the beginning of Tosca or Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet, (the part, where the violins go crazy – God, I am so bad with names, I even forgot what that part is called) in order to start practicing at the practice floor of the Conservatory at 7 am.Why am I writing about this right now? Well, after one of the lesser succesfull quartet recitals of our quartet, Henry Mayer, the second violinist of the LaSalle-Quartet, an Auschwitz survivor with the driest sense of humour, didn’t congratulate us, he only said: “Go home and take a shower!” This was so wonderfully prosaic that we used this saying at many occasions, describing a bit the indifference one tends to feel after having finished or accomplished something, and afterwards, when there wasn’t much else to do, you could just go home and pour some water over yourself, forgetting about the success or the lack of success one just had – it all passes anyway.
Travel to Australia
My last concert in Europe this season happened two days ago, playing the Rococo Variations with the Russian National Orchestra under Philippe Auguin in Bad Kissingen, but unfortunately I am not going to some well-deserved family holidays, but while my son and his mother are travelling to her mother to Puerto Rico, I am right now on my way to my first visit to Australia and later New Zealand. Actually pretty exciting, but I just find it very sad that I can’t spend the first half of Janos’ summer holidays with him – something I swore myself to avoid, and when the offer came to play during summer on the other half of the world I agreed hoping I could take him with me. I wasn’t aware though that it is winter in New Zealand right now, and this poor German boy deserves a nice summer after the grueling German winters…
What would you like to change in the music business?
I’d love to see a greater humility towards the music in this business which should not even be called like that. There are too many promoter and artists who are thinking first profit and then the music (if at all). It got for my taste a bit too “fee-oriented” instead of just trying to do justify ones existence as an artist.
When and why did you start playing the cello?
I was about eight and a half years old, playing with my toys in the garden, when my mother asked me, if I would like to play another instrument besides the piano, because my little sister had just begun the violin. I wasn’t too interested, but to get her out of my face, I said “Why not?”, and then she suggested the cello. Same answer. Today she says that she could have named any instrument and I would have agreed!
What do you think while playing the cello?
My thoughts while practicing and during a performance are very different. In practice I have to be my toughest judge, a perfectionist to the very last note, technically as well as musically, but in performance I have to force myself to forget all about technique, all about preconceived ideas, nothing but to focus on the music, being creative and expressive every single moment, to dare taking all possible risks while imagening abstract stories or feelings I want to translate into the music, images or colours I want to transport through the cello to the audience. In my practice room I always have a blank paper next to me because I tend to have the best ideas while practicing. Ideas about children education, how to deal better with women, what to buy in the grocery store, which program to play with which pianist, what to record, whom to contact etc.. It just seems as if practicing equals brainstorming, while performing comes closer to a dream.
How do you get concerts?
As with all soloists nothing goes without managers, and after some rather negative experiences I finally found a team which I trust to develop and to put my visions and ideas into realitiy.
My so called general management is located in London, the agency SulivanSweetland, two lovely ladies, directly responsible for finding concerts in the UK, Benelux, Scandinavia and Australia as well as my recording deal with Hyperion. In addition to that they not only coordinate my entire calendar and the already existing local representations, but they try to establish me in markets in which I am not so present, especially Asia. They put together presskits, demo cd‘s, send them with letters or hand them personally on their numerous travels out to representers, orchestras and local managers, since personal contact counts more than ever. The times where an agent picks up the phone and arranges the concerts are over for a while. It is a hard job, and I wouldn’t want to switch with them, concertizing is much easier. The two other most important managements, with whom I am in constant touch is my Germany management called markus bröhl artists and concerts. The owner is a friend of mine, who loves music and his artists more than anything, that he puts his work above everything else. And last but not least Michal Schmidt in New York who has done miraculous work in the shortest of all periods. Within a year she had turned my American career around by just informing every single orchestra about me, and within months she had filled an entire season with eight different orchestras. Most important for me is the fact, that all of them care about music and the human being behind the musician which results into me being able for the first time in my professional life to take with their support an entire summer month off – I am not twenty anymore and I need a break to recharge the battery!
Are you afraid to perform?
Not really :) it is rather a kind of curious nervosity. It is not so much the fear of failure which gives me this tingling in the stomach area but rather the anticipation of a fun-ride like a roller coaster; you know you will arrive, but so much can happen on the way… Maybe it’s the theater blood of all my ancestors, who were singers, actors, conductors and dancers which gives me this strange love for the stage which lets me deal with all the hassle of travelling, the tristesse of being alone, the hard work of always starting at zero again, being exposed to criticism all the time, as if the self-criticism wasn’t destructive enough.
How do you deal with criticism/reviews?
Since I don’t have a teacher for the last 13 years anymore and most of the people won’t tell you the complete truth after a performance I am happy to be able to learn from reviews, bad as well as good ones.
Certainly we mustn’t take everything which is written or said about us at face value, but on the other side if I find a common tenor in several reviews I take it very serious and actually this attitude made me a better player over the years. As for many musician it is not always easy for me to accept criticism, it can hurt at times, especially because we need enough self-confidence in order to survive on stage, which can be undermined by a slating. I try to read reviews no matter if negative or positive a couple of days after a concert and then reflect about it. No, I don’t want to please everybody, rather the contrary: I try to find my own voice and play things the way I and not the possible reviewer, think they should be played; but at the same time we never know how our music arrives in the hall, and for that the music critic is a good mouthpiece.
Of what are you particulary proud?
I am happy that after 15 years of playing the cello professionally I am still able to feel the same childlike pleasure making music as I did when was allowed to play chambermusic for New Years 1979 together with my father and some of his colleagues the entire evening. I am glad that I can experience and listen to music with the same naive amazement as I did as a four-year-old in my first concert visits. I am grateful that I am lucky enough to play with wonderful musicians in beautiful halls and even get paid for it. Proud I am maybe of my discipline to not let myself go in spite of my lazy nature and not to give up whenever there is some resistence as I did constantly as a child, and that until today I am fighting against the temptation to choose the security of a „job“ (teaching or orchestra position) over the freedom of a soloist.
Do you like to practice?
As a teenager and by rather lazy nature I did’t like practicing too much, as a matter of fact I practically hated it. Nowadays it has beomethe greatest pleasure because it is the only time where I can really focus on just one thing. No telephone, no computer with e-mail, no so-called multi-tasking, but just the cello, me and the music. It is almost like an escape from the multiple tasks a career requires. I love to practice new pieces, and there always lays a great challenge in re-learning pieces I played already a thousand times. The more often I work on a piece intensely, the deeper I can feel it, the better I understand it and recognize performing possibilities which I hadn‘t seen before, but as everything in life, the last few percents of achieving anything hurt a lot.
What exactly is your "school project?"
In many ways I hate the word "project" and I prefer to call it at best a commitment at schools. For my first performances in the US I was obliged to also participate in the so-called residencies program which meant nothing else but doing some pioneer work in schools, elementary as well as high-schools. At first I thought myself for too good and did it more or less reluctantly.
But already the second time I had to realize that it was not only an important and efficient tool to fill a hall in the evening with much more and a much younger audience, but that I learnt it lot about myself - at the end of the session I had to admit to myself that I had fun and felt fulfilled. I gave my managers immediately the order to offer it wherever I was playing. Since I am not very good in selling anything, I had a hard time convey the idea, but today I try to go as often as possible to schools, and pursue that in a much more aggressive way by talking to the school inspectors directly to do exactly what?
Travel Is Not Tiring!
Just a quick thought while sitting here in the lounge, watching over the airfield of Melbourne airport. Everybody complains about how hard travelling is, and the commute to Australia is indeed quite long, but how hard is that at the end of the day? I think it is really just a matter of perspective: I left on Sunday evening and will arrive Tuesday morning, 5 movies, 3 meals and half a book later. Hard? Yes, maybe I am just lucky and fortunate to be able to sleep 7 or 8 hours during the night, but maybe it is also just an attitude problem. I would never dare to compare the "work" I do with a genius like Mozart - but at the end of the day he was a travelling musician as well, and here we can talk about hard travel. Two or three days in horse carriage from Vienna to Prague (or even longer), and this ain't business class in one of these International carriers, not even economy...
Long live Wifi!
While Sitting here in my dressing room at the Philharmonie in Luxembourg (gorgeous hall) and listening to the second half of the concert through the speakers, I am able to check e-mail, write a blog, follow the Yankees loosing to the Red Sox (well, the bases are loaded in the 7th inning, ARod is up next...) and pay two bills - thanks to the Wifi in this entire space here! Where would we be without it? It really makes my life so much easier; already to be able to not having to talk on the phone constantly but instead do all the necessary communication via e-mail. The older I get the less I like talking on the phone, I find it so impersonal and tiring, and on top of it my memory has become so poorly that I don't remember anything I am saying on the phone. Since I can type almost as fast as I speak (and I am a fast speaker!) it gives me much more time at hand to do important things, like checking the sports results for example (oops, ARod just grounded out, inning over) :)
Concerts and "Fußball"
Last night I had the pleasure to play for the first time in 18 years with the Symphony Orchestra of the Bayerische Rundfunk in Munich, one of the best orchestras in the world - their chief conductor is Mariss Jansons. I played the Brahms Double (again) with Lisa Batiashvili who played as always absolutely beautiful; a challenge to be on stage with her because she has such musical charisma that it is very easy to be blown away, while in that piece the cello needs to lay a good base, otherwise something is missing. Did it work? People said we had a very natural balance, sounding like one instrument (hopefully like hers, not like my fat monster), but I know quite well that if it wasn't like that, people would not tell me anyway, so I never know, always guessing.
Presidents and Brahms in Ludwigsburg
The other day I was asked by a journalist in a live radio interview about my open and direct writing in my blog. Wasn't I aware that complete strangers would be able to read my deeper thoughts and feelings, and how did that feel? I must admit this question shut me up for more than a month now - maybe it felt a bit like criticism for saying too much, showing too much of myself. My beloved wife herself doesn't agree with me being so indiscreet about myself. Well, let's face it: another cheap excuse for not having written in a long time! :) Even though I did experience many quite wonderful things since my last entry, so maybe there is a bit of truth in me having become a bit insecure about sharing everything. My problem is that I don't have this "privace filter" in my brain. I don't feel the need of privace, I don't really know what it is. I am slowly learning, because it seems women need a lot of that. But for myself I found out that either I write openly, no taboos or secrets, or I don't write at all. Took me a month to figure that one out, and now I am back on (the writing) track.
Lost in Translation - Tokyo and Thoughts about Hype
What an amazing country - they all seem to love classical music, eat the most delicious food, but hardly anybody speaks any European language and you feel completely lonely and, indeed, pretty much lost. If it wasn't for the nice pictures in the menues of a restaurant, I would have to order my food without knowing what is going to be served. I haven't been to Japan in some years, and I had forgotten how isolated one tends to feel in a city of the size of Tokyo with soooo many people and nobody to connect to.Actually I should try to get at least 4 hours to sleep before the car picks me up to the airport, but too many thoughts are flying around in my little brain, and since I hate wasting time being awake in bed (which hardly ever happens - if I only see a bed I normally fall asleep) I'd rather write something about my "Trip to Asia" before returning home into a frenzy, not being able to even think clearly anymore.
Elgar With The Hallé Orchestra - Run-Out Concerts
Last time I played the Elgar it was two months ago in the concert which I used as a personal requiem for my mother who had passed away that same day, and in doing that I kind of discovered another intimacy and inwardness in that so often-played piece which made me fall in love with it even more. For me it is now a rather fragile piece, obviously highly emotional, but in a very personal way, not too obvious and "juicy".
Teaching and playing in Madrid and Washington
Time flies, it is unbelievable - I had to get up this morning at 5:30 am in order to catch my flight back to the US at 6:50 (this is only possible in Berlin, since we have this lovely little city airport Tegel) which just has been cancelled, and it was already getting light when I was leaving my apartment at 5:50 am. Yes, it's spring, and lazy me hasn't written anything in here since a while. No, I wasn't that busy, but I took a very welcome little break, skiing with my little family in Switzerland.